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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29830188">i see stars (when i think of you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_bull/pseuds/blue_bull'>blue_bull</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But Only a Little Bit - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, a bit of fluff at the end. as a treat, im sorry for this, m finn is here but they're only referenced a few times sorry, this hurt to write, tw: suicide attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:00:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,321</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29830188</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_bull/pseuds/blue_bull</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>hi, it's been a bit. how are y'all? dunno if you couldn't tell but uh. i haven't really been writing much. i've had plenty of ideas recently, but no motivation to write another chapter for Love in French, but i am working on it! little by little, but i can promise that it'll be released, hopefully, by the time the school year is over.<br/>thanks for your patience ily &lt;3</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora &amp; Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i see stars (when i think of you)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi, it's been a bit. how are y'all? dunno if you couldn't tell but uh. i haven't really been writing much. i've had plenty of ideas recently, but no motivation to write another chapter for Love in French, but i am working on it! little by little, but i can promise that it'll be released, hopefully, by the time the school year is over.<br/>thanks for your patience ily &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>                  Catra looks up at the ceiling, only seeing white lights pass overhead. She can’t hear anything but the buzz of rushed conversation from the swarm of nurses and doctors. She struggles to sit up, only to fall back again, feeling dizzy from the effort.</p><p><em>                  Adora.</em> Her first coherent thought. Her wife. Then she remembers what happened.</p><p><em>                  Finn.</em> Their firstborn child. She panics, wondering where they are. She remembers. With her wife. And she ultimately fails to fight against a familiar feeling.</p><p><em>                  Tired.</em> Her last thought before falling into a deep sleep. Not even she knows when, or if, she’ll wake up again.</p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p><p> </p><p>                  <em>Please, my love, I’m coming. I promise.</em></p><p>                  Just like all those years ago. In the foster system. It was Adora and Catra. Forever. Nothing could keep them apart. Right? <em>“Not even death could keep me from you, Adora Gray.”</em> There was no exception, Adora remembered. That’s what Catra said. It’s what she promised. She had to mean it.</p><p>                  Adora looked in the back seat, seeing Finn, sleeping like a rock. Totally unaware of the situation, still too little to process what death means. She turned back to the road, speeding down the highway to the hospital.</p><p>
  <em>                  “Nothing really bad can happen, as long as we have each other,” Adora has said, only 7 at the time, but knowing the meaning. The truth. That’s what it was.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>                  She got a response, however small it may have been. “You promise?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>                  She looked at Catra with a loving expression and promised her. Promise. A promise that she kept even now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>                  “I promise.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p><p> </p><p>                  Catra dreamed something soft. It was Adora showing her the constellations. The stars. That very month, Catra got a map. It was the night sky on the exact day they started dating a year before. It was then that Catra knew. Knew that this woman would be the one she married. The stars. They never meant much to her. But she knew they meant everything to the blonde she fell in love with.</p><p>                  The stars. So many memories.<br/>
                  The stars. She looked up at them again now.</p><p>                  Her mind had drifted from that, though. Into the scenes before the ambulance. Before she grabbed her keys.</p><p>
  <em>                  Adora and Finn hadn’t been home at the time. She spiralled and couldn’t stop the thoughts from coming at her. Full speed, without a second thought, she flew out of the driveway, fully intent on driving head-on into a pole, full speed, that’s how fast she was driving.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>                  The stars. Burning in the darkness of space.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>                  Her mind was going full speed, but she couldn’t think of anything but the stars.</em>
</p><p><em>                  Everything mattered. Nothing mattered. Nothing but the stars. The stars were everything. Everything to Adora. But they meant nothing. She didn’t deserve anything. She fell in love, but it didn’t mean anything. She didn’t deserve it. She pointed up at the little dipper. She said something, but Catra coun’t remember. She wasn’t paying attention at this point. She was staring at Adora. The woman she fell so hard for. Adora. Adora.<br/>
                  </em>Adora. She’d be on her way soon. Her love. Her star.</p><p>                  The stars. She sees stars now. Stars. Constellations. The little dipper. Little Dipper. Little.</p><p>                  Finn. Her little dipper. Their little dipper. Always full of energy, even being as young as they are. She loves them. She loves Adora. Her stars. Stars.</p><p>                  The stars. She watches them as she veers off the road at the last second, not watching her new trajectory. Just the stars. They’re all she sees. Her stars.</p><p>                  The stars.</p><p>                  She feels something on her hand. She looks over but sees nothing. But the pressure is there. It’s comforting. Like the constellations in her mind. The constellations that are so pretty. The constellations, made up of stars. Her stars, now. Her stars, Adora and Finn. Her stars. The stars.</p><p>                  She slips out of the sky, again into darkness.</p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p><p> </p><p>                  Adora rushed over to the side of the hospital bed, seeing all the new places. New spots. New scars. The scars from this. From her wife trying to take her own life. She was numb. Almost. Almost numb to the feeling. Almost not feeling the tears roll down her face. Off her face, onto Catra’s arm. Wet little puddles forming, then rolling down the side of her arm. Roll, drip puddle, roll. Repeat. Repeat the vows. Her vows. Catra’s vows. Vows from only 7 years ago, still comforting to this day. <em>“Not even death could keep me from you, Adora Gray.”</em></p><p>                  The only things going through Adora’s mind were Catra on the hospital bed, Finn in her arms, and pain. A new pain that she never thought she’d feel. She didn’t <em>want</em> to feel it. Not now, and not ever. The vows again. <em>“Not even death…”</em> Nothing could keep Adora from Catra.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>                  Minutes turned into hours, hours to days. Adora called her aunts to take Finn a little bit ago…how long ago was it? She doesn’t know. She checked her phone. 5 days. 5 days since the accident. She had notifications from before she got to the hospital. She dismissed them and put her phone down on the armrest. She layed her head down on the bed again. What only felt like seconds after, she woke up to movement. <em>Catra.</em> Adora sat fully upright and watched her wife stir. She watched and waited. It was agonizing. She was still holding her wife’s hand when she felt a light squeeze. Her eyes went from their intertwined hands to Catra’s eyes. She misses them. She misses seeing the frozen blue and the piercing amber.</p><p>                  She gets her wish to see them again when her eyes meet Catra’s. She is suddenly aware of everything and nothing at the same time. She raises her hand to her wife’s cheek wiping away the singular tear that had started rolling down her cheek. Adora wraps Catra in a gentle, meaningful hug. Catra melts into it. She speaks. It’s two words, repeated so many times.</p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p><p> </p><p>                  Catra looked over at her hand the moment she woke up. She didn’t know, or care, how much time had passed. She only cared about whether or not she was alive. There was someone she needed to talk to. Adora. That was it. If she died today, she had to say something. One thing before they took her. Before the stars took her.</p><p>                  The stars. Adora. She looked at the hand holding hers. Adora. She looked up a bit more.</p><p>                  Adora. The second she saw her love, she couldn’t see anything else. She cried in that moment. The moment she realized that Adora was right here with her.</p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p><p> </p><p>                  “I’m sorry,” she says. Over and over again. Adora knows. Catra knows that Adora knows. But she can’t bring herself to stop apologizing. Not until she feels the press of soft lips on her own. She stops and leans into it, weakly still.</p><p>                  “My love, you have nothing to apologize for. Just- be here with me now, okay?” All Catra can do in response is nod. They’re both still crying heavily, holding onto each other as if something could happen at any moment.</p><p>                  “I remembered you. You and Finn. And the stars. You were the first person to really show me the stars. It was all I dreamt about. You and the stars.” Catra couldn’t hold anything back. She was only talking in a whisper. She couldn’t breathe. It was hard. She continued. “Both of you. My family. My stars. I looked up and wanted to stop. It was too late. I’m sorry, Adora. I’m sory. I’m sorry. I am.”</p><p>                  “I know, baby, I know.” All Adora could do was hold onto her wife. The love of her life. The one she wanted to marry since she was 15. She knew. They were each other’s worlds. They were together. Not even death could keep them apart. They were it for each other.</p><p>                  Forever and always.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>gotta say, i have one person to thank, both genuinely and, almost, sarcastically. Sath, that'd be you. got me in a mood last night after recommending If the World Was Ending (written by the wonderful cabbageboy, go check them out), i started thinking about this and i wrote it. no beta read, outline, nothing. cranked it out in less than a day.<br/>hm now i feel like im bragging, anyway, see y'all next time.<br/>whenever that may be.</p><p>~ fin ~</p></blockquote></div></div>
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